What feature do witches love having on their computers?
A spell checker
What should you do after shaking hands with a monster?
Count your fingers
When a vampire drinks too much, what does it get?
Where do skeletons swim?
The Dead Sea
What do mermaids have on toast?
Why did the man drown in his muesli?
He was pulled under by a strong currant
What’s yellow and dangerous?
What do you get if you cross an egg with a barrel of gunpowder?
Waiter! Waiter! Your thumb is in my soup.
Don’t worry. It’s not hot
Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny
What’s yellow, brown and hairy?
Cheese on toast stuck to the carpet
What do cannibals do at weddings?
Toast the bride and groom
What’s yellow, flat and flies around the kitchen?
An unidentified flying omelette
What’s the worst thing you’ll find in a school canteen?
What are two robbers called?
A pair of nickers
Do you know why my little brother is built upside down?
Because his nose runs and his feet smell!
What do you do if you find a python in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished
What happens when the queen burps?
She issues a royal pardon
Can you do better? Tell us a joke then!!